_step into roula-ism

[..::^Saturday, May 19, 2007^::..]

okay
i shouldn't interfere,
because its none of my business,
i find it heartless

tina obviously needed some help,,
she was like crying and confused,,
she reminds me of me,
so of course i'd helped her cos i understand how she feels,
sorry i can't help it but INTERFERE

all she wanted me to do,
was to stay with her and help her explain to poke why she was so stressed,
because shes like breaking down,
i know how that feels,
its VERY tiring,
you wont know it unless you feel it

then snake tells me
oh your not much of a help
and dont be such a busybody
you'll make things worse
why do u have to interfere
jus go

then poke tells me
you shouldn't be involved in this
its none of your business
you should let me handle it myself
jus go

then starie jie tells me
you shouldn't be interfering with this

its the last straw can?

and to think,,
you arent even helping me,,
you were the one who wanted to meet her,,
forget it,

tonight im going out

lala ~ 9:47 PM

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[..::^Thursday, May 17, 2007^::..]

Philosophy Essay :
Question 1

I would not plug into the experience machine due to three main reasons as stated below.

Firstly, I strongly value truth and reality. The idea of an experience machine giving me my experiences sounds rather ridiculous to me. The action of plugging into the machine is comparable to allowing self-deception to take place in your mind. It is as good as wanting to lie to yourself and making yourself believe something (whether you are writing a novel or making a friend) which never actually happened. Self-deception is basically denying the actual fact that is happening and believing something else. In this case, it is different in a sense that when you are plugged in, you would not know the real truth. However, the act of allowing yourself to plug in is unethical as you are, in a sense, deceiving someone – yourself. Moreover, I feel that actually doing something for real is more valuable than merely having the illusion or belief of doing it.

Secondly, I feel that our families and friends matter much more than how our lives feel from the inside. Although it is true that “there’s no need to stay unplugged to serve them”, I feel that what we value is something that goes beyond what experiences we are having. For example, if the desired experience was for you to make your children happy with gifts, you could program and experience making your children happy. However, the “children” in your experience would merely be electrodes attached to your brain. The “children” in your experience would be devoid of appreciating the love and care you are trying to show them. Furthermore, they are not factually your children. This experience machine has it limitations and cannot produce your true, valued desires. What we actually desire would be the act of making our children happy, thus making our children happy and not just having the experience of making our children happy, hence making ourselves happy. The second aim or motive would be selfish.

Lastly, I feel that spending actually time with our friends and families is important. Although they can plug in as well, I strongly value spending time with them. Being plugged in would be, in my opinion, as good as neglecting them, it would be an act of selfishness. It is selfish as you are on considering your own happiness and ignoring the responsibility you have toward other people in your lives. Human beings, I am sure, value relationships we have with our families, friends and other people. Being plugged into the experience machine all the time would make life meaningless. There would be no point of having bodies of our own as well, if our brain is all we need for the machine to make us experience our “experiences”. Also, life would have not much meaning either if it is just about plugging in and having experiences given to you by electrodes.

Humans have certain values such as honesty and human relationships. These values I have stated are in application to the society I live in. These values may cause others to refrain from accepting this experience machine. Moreover, the experience machine has its own limitations and flaws as stated in my second point. Thus, I would not plug into this experience machine even if possible.

Done by : Chow Hui Ling
Class : 306

i sound so chim don't i =)

lala ~ 10:22 PM

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[..::^Tuesday, May 15, 2007^::..]

wow,,

drizzle and rain early in the morning~
after i had a nightmare of getting my math paper back,,
well we got math back first,,
and the teachers couldn't stop saying everything we got is our fault,,

math
from question 1- 10,
marks were : 1,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,7,3,
total of 18 / 60
okay (:

lets get back our chinese paper! yay!
something i finally can smile at (:
56 / 90 (:
others got 70+
i am so proud of myself, really (:

recess was just tiring and long,,
the day seemed so long u know,,

-pause

lala ~ 7:37 PM

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[..::^Saturday, May 05, 2007^::..]

today was a really badbadbad day

it all started with tuition,,
then i was like : laoshi wo du zi tong
then she daoed me,,
so i just told her i was going to the toilet,
then when i didn't come back she complained to mommy,
and mommy was like : eh u have stomach ache ar?
: tutor waiting for you leh,
and i just wanted to kill her but nvrm,
cos i was in pain.
it wasn't that bad la actually
compared to later

anyways i stayed in the toilet and just stoned,
toilets the best place cos theres no air movement,
i feel better without air movement
so a reminder not to point fans at me!
i hate it

then when i came out,
the tutor kept on telling me to go to my room and sleep
and she kept on saying it like she was so experienced
im sorry but i got pissed :(
so i daoed her back ><
but yeah wtv

and i was seriously like sweating non stop,
mommy gave me ponstaine,
so i lied down on mommys bed and tried to sleep cos sleeping means u can't feel the pain
then i slept for like, 5 mins
when i woke up the pain was like,
what i've never felt before,
it was,, whats that word, indescribable
worse was that i wasn't ready for it,
i so wasn't ready,
eventually i fell off the bed and kept rolling around like i was on fire,
well, you won't understand the pain unless u feel it,
so dad and mom were just irritating in my head,
telling me to stop rolling,
cos they just dont understand

anyways i had to scream at them that i needed a doctor,
well, i've never really groaned and screamed before this way,
but i tell you, the pain was like BAD
it was a off and on pain okay,,
so theres a starting, ending and middle
middle u feel pain, like sumting is squeezing you,
you just want to curl up,
ending is u feel like the pain is gonna go away,
but no,
starting is the WORSE
its like, someone is inserting a knife into your abdomen,
thats not all, hes like putting it in and out,
horrible

anyways daddy said an ambulance would take too long so he and korkor put me on a chair and carried me downstairs,
[i've decided that i might stay in the basement of the new house next time maybe]
but it was hard you know,
to try not and move in the chair,,
yeah,,
so i just screamed and screamed so when they brought the chair out with me inside (screaming),
the whole estate kinda looked out the windows,
darn =/

anyways daddy speeded to KKH,
i could feel it cos everytime the car went up a bump,
its was like the knife moving in your abdomen,
plus my house has 4 bumps before you reach the main road so yeah,
im glad im moving,
so when i reach KKH mom put me in this wheelchair,,
and guess what,
yeah i broke the handle,
oops =/

the nurse tried to take my blood pressure but i guess it was kind of hard,
because of me screaming and rolling and all,
oops =/

then they finally put me on this bed,
and kept on telling me : oh the doctor is coming
i was kinda pissed,
cos the doctor took like 15mins
and i think i sorta damaged the bed thingy's handle too
oops =/
gosh,
and you know what,
they had to move my bed away from the wall,
cos i was trying to bang my head on it,
so that i could get unconscious and just forget the pain
i'll bring my own rock next time.

lala ~ 10:19 PM

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i had a strange dream o.o!

i dreamt that right,

people in our class kept their dogs in this place,

so when they want to see their dog they'll come,

so then i went to visit that place (ilovedogs),

and i chose this dog which was steph's

it was really really nice okay!

abit like a wolf,

it was black and white and all fluffy!

so i brought it around everywhere,

then i dreamt that steph was angry at me for it thats all, ><

i can't relate this dream to anything except for the fact that i want a dog

and the fact that i saw this really nice dog a few days ago!

beautiful (:

lala ~ 11:39 AM

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[..::^Friday, May 04, 2007^::..]

recent happenings

` my harvest moon game got deleted :(

` stomach pains

` i've been reading ^^

` people are contradicting themselves and i can't stand it

~~torn between 2~~
~~both are equal~~
~~how to make the choice? (ihatemakingchoices)~~
~~it will change a lifetime, it will~~
~~decided that my decision will be made this way~~
~~do you think my decision is important?~~
~~will u cherish me?~~

~~g ^_~~~

i love you and i think thats all i need to know (:

lala ~ 10:04 PM

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you know sometimes right,
people like to use reverse psychology on you,,
its like they say : aiya nvm la,, i know i can handle it myself de la
then they expect people to say : aiya i do for you la

i admit guilty
i do do it sometimes,
but i can't stand it when people make it so obvious,,
its like if you were to say : ok lor // in reply to that statement,
they maybe get all despo and go : haiz, if only i had some help
its like
GRR

i wanna box that person

lala ~ 9:58 PM

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do you know where the hidden mickey is?

i bet you don't know it

the cardical truth : are you ready to hear it?
( read it, i mean )

MINNIE MOUSE IS THE HIDDEN MICKEY

if you notice it carefully,
minnie has the same ears, eyes, nose, mouth and physical structure as mickey
thus, minnie is mickey in disguise!
thats hidden mickey for you (:

research done by : ~~peddle~~ pebble and SAW in math supplementry

lala ~ 9:00 PM

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i love artemis fowl !
brilliant book : the lost colony

i love all these smart alecky kind of books,
where there are 2 smartish people and they have to outwit each other,
because the plot is usually filled with twists, which i like (:
eg of smartishh people outwitting each other : Death Note (:

lala ~ 8:50 PM

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i do not like exams :(

you know what, i think exams are just really stressful,,
because people like me love to do last minute mugging,,
mugmugmug
then we don't get enough rest and get all grumpy >:(

english was kind of okayokay
literature was cool (:
studying does pay off sometimes

lala ~ 8:43 PM

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